Our Unfortunate Culture of Self-Depreciation

You know that scene in mean girls where the plastics (who are the most popular girls in school) line up in front of the mirror to talk about all the things they hate about themselves? In the movie it’s exaggerated and funny, but really when you think about it how often do we do the exact same thing? I can’t tell you how often I hear girls talking about features they hate on themselves or things they wish they had. It’s this constant tirade of "my stomach is too big," “my hair is too straight,” “my lips are too small,” “I hate my nose,” “my skin is so shiny” and on and on and on. If a girl has curly hair she wants straight hair, and invariably one of her straight-haired friends wish they had her curly hair. No one is happy with what their momma gave them. And it’s funny how often it happens that the traits we hate about ourselves are the traits that others wish they had.
It drives me crazy.

There isn’t just one kind of beautiful. If we all walked around trying to look like Angelina Jolie how boring would that be? It would be like having a giant flower garden full of only poppies. Which might look pretty, but as we know, the poppy field in the Wizard of Oz was so boring that it put Dorothy straight to sleep.

Okay so maybe those were magical poppies. But my point still stands; one of the things that makes flora and fauna in nature so beautiful is its diversity. It’s the combination of different shapes, sizes, and colors that create some truly amazing views.

And people are the same way.
 All of us look different and all of us can rock our own kind of beauty.

Like so:

Ta da! Gorgeous.

  I know it’s so hard to be okay with how you look when we are constantly getting slapped in the face with a barrage of messages from media and from others telling us we are too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too wrinkled, too hairy, too unsophisticated, too round, too square, too pale, too tan, too curvy, not curvy enough. And how absurd is that? No matter what we do it isn’t enough, we could always be thinner, we could always have better hair, smoother make-up, clearer skin.  And so many companies want us to feel this way about ourselves so we will go buy their anti-aging cream or their diet pills or their top-of-the-line makeup. There are people out there literally making billions of dollars off of our insecurities, so they perpetuate them in any way they can. And it’s so sad to me that we buy into it and believe them.

I’m not saying it’s bad to try to look your best. I just wish that at the end of the day we could look in the mirror and be truly happy with what we see there. I wish we could look in and see someone strong and beautiful and confident and happy. 

So here is what I suggest: I triple dog dare you to look in the mirror every morning and find at least 5 things you like about yourself. And if you can’t find five things then just sit there and keep looking till you see them, because I promise you they are there.  And after you've finished getting ready for the day and look how you want to look, quit worrying about it. Get out there and live your life and try new things and worry more about the experiences you’re having then how you look when you’re having them. Because when we are so focused on how we look, we miss out on everything happening around us. So get out there and live your life and feel good about yourself, and help other people feel good about themselves. I’m pretty sure if we were all actually able to do that, then we would be exponentially happier.

Let's all take a leaf out of this little girl's book:

If you have a few minutes, check out this talk by Jeffrey R. Holland. He talks about how there's an optimum health but there isn't an optimum size, and the importance of withstanding what the world is telling you and loving yourself as a child of God. Which you are. So next time you are feeling down about how you look, remember that Heavenly Father, God of Heaven and Earth, made you in His image.

(Even though this talk is called "To Young Women," it applies to guys too :)

Elder Holland knows what's up.

Just remember, be happy with what you have and who you are. It’s okay to think you’re pretty. It’s okay to like yourself the way you are. It’s not vanity, it’s confidence, and confidence is beautiful.