A Year in Review

Hello internet!
Today I was bored and decided to surf the internet instead of studying like I'm supposed to, and I ended up on my blog and realized that it's been a whole year since I blogged! And since this is kind of my journal, I feel like I need to catch up on what's been happening in my life.

A year ago I had just started my first job as a nurse on a telemetry floor. I was terrified and trying to figure out what the heck I was doing. A year of working on that floor has taught me a lot about what it means to be a nurse and what I'm capable of. I had a lot of ups and downs, but overall it was an amazing experience that I'm incredibly grateful for. I have had the chance to have so many people come into my life that have taught me so much and helped me grow. I've had patients, co-workers, and mentors that have challenged me and helped me and taught me how to love and serve my fellow-man. I've learned that nursing is what people says it is-a crazy-amazing-hardest thing ever-marvelous-terrible- roller coaster of awesome.

So after a year of working in telemetry, I decided it was time for a new challenge, so I applied and got accepted for a job in the cardiovascular intensive care unit. I just started that job two weeks ago, and I pretty much feel like I'm back where I was last year: just starting a new amazing and terrifying learning experience, and basically trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing. :) It's only been two weeks and so far I haven't had anything too crazy happen, but it's amazing how completely different it is and how much I learn every day that I'm there. This is the job that I've wanted pretty much since I started nursing school so I'm super duper stoked that I'm finally here. So far it's been a very humbling experience, but I'm thrilled to be there and so excited to learn everything I can!

So that's my life. I'm a nurse. I learn a lot, I work weekends and holidays, I'm pretty much tired all the time, I'm pretty much stressed all the time, I don't see my family or friends as much as I would like, and yet though it's really hard, it's amazing and if I could go back I wouldn't choose to do anything else :).

Our Unfortunate Culture of Self-Depreciation

You know that scene in mean girls where the plastics (who are the most popular girls in school) line up in front of the mirror to talk about all the things they hate about themselves? In the movie it’s exaggerated and funny, but really when you think about it how often do we do the exact same thing? I can’t tell you how often I hear girls talking about features they hate on themselves or things they wish they had. It’s this constant tirade of "my stomach is too big," “my hair is too straight,” “my lips are too small,” “I hate my nose,” “my skin is so shiny” and on and on and on. If a girl has curly hair she wants straight hair, and invariably one of her straight-haired friends wish they had her curly hair. No one is happy with what their momma gave them. And it’s funny how often it happens that the traits we hate about ourselves are the traits that others wish they had.
It drives me crazy.

There isn’t just one kind of beautiful. If we all walked around trying to look like Angelina Jolie how boring would that be? It would be like having a giant flower garden full of only poppies. Which might look pretty, but as we know, the poppy field in the Wizard of Oz was so boring that it put Dorothy straight to sleep.

Okay so maybe those were magical poppies. But my point still stands; one of the things that makes flora and fauna in nature so beautiful is its diversity. It’s the combination of different shapes, sizes, and colors that create some truly amazing views.

And people are the same way.
 All of us look different and all of us can rock our own kind of beauty.

Like so:

Ta da! Gorgeous.

  I know it’s so hard to be okay with how you look when we are constantly getting slapped in the face with a barrage of messages from media and from others telling us we are too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too wrinkled, too hairy, too unsophisticated, too round, too square, too pale, too tan, too curvy, not curvy enough. And how absurd is that? No matter what we do it isn’t enough, we could always be thinner, we could always have better hair, smoother make-up, clearer skin.  And so many companies want us to feel this way about ourselves so we will go buy their anti-aging cream or their diet pills or their top-of-the-line makeup. There are people out there literally making billions of dollars off of our insecurities, so they perpetuate them in any way they can. And it’s so sad to me that we buy into it and believe them.

I’m not saying it’s bad to try to look your best. I just wish that at the end of the day we could look in the mirror and be truly happy with what we see there. I wish we could look in and see someone strong and beautiful and confident and happy. 

So here is what I suggest: I triple dog dare you to look in the mirror every morning and find at least 5 things you like about yourself. And if you can’t find five things then just sit there and keep looking till you see them, because I promise you they are there.  And after you've finished getting ready for the day and look how you want to look, quit worrying about it. Get out there and live your life and try new things and worry more about the experiences you’re having then how you look when you’re having them. Because when we are so focused on how we look, we miss out on everything happening around us. So get out there and live your life and feel good about yourself, and help other people feel good about themselves. I’m pretty sure if we were all actually able to do that, then we would be exponentially happier.

Let's all take a leaf out of this little girl's book:

If you have a few minutes, check out this talk by Jeffrey R. Holland. He talks about how there's an optimum health but there isn't an optimum size, and the importance of withstanding what the world is telling you and loving yourself as a child of God. Which you are. So next time you are feeling down about how you look, remember that Heavenly Father, God of Heaven and Earth, made you in His image.

(Even though this talk is called "To Young Women," it applies to guys too :)

Elder Holland knows what's up.

Just remember, be happy with what you have and who you are. It’s okay to think you’re pretty. It’s okay to like yourself the way you are. It’s not vanity, it’s confidence, and confidence is beautiful. 

22

Guess what? As of yesterday my age is now a palindrome, which only happens every 11 years or so. So that's pretty cool :) Also does it strike anybody as odd that the word "palindrome" is not, in fact, a palindrome? I feel like it would be cool if the names of things described the things themselves. Like an orange. It is a fruit that is orange. This is the closest anybody's gotten with palindrome:

And it just doesn't make any sense.

Anyways, Happy Sunday!

In which I provide a painstaking photographic documentation of repotting my cactus...because I'm bored and it's awesome

You know how some people have a green thumb? My mom is one of those people. She grew up on a farm and has pretty much always had some type of garden and loves to make things grow. Well unfortunately I did not inherit this particular attribute and my thumb tends to be a little more of a murky yellowish-brown color. I have a little bit of trouble keeping plants alive. Ever. So one day I said to myself, hey self, maybe you should try a cactus! They tend to be sturdy plants and if anything could withstand my horticultural ineptitude, it would be a cactus. So I bought this one and named it Lou, (as in Lou Ferrigno, as in the Hulk, because they are both green and they are both sometimes dangerous):

Ta da!

So Lou was pretty little when I bought it, but it's grown a couple inches since then, so I decided it needed a new home. I had planned on replanting it in the yard when it got a little bigger, but I decided to put it in a pot instead because I will be moving out soon and I want to take it with me. So here is what I did:

First, I bought a new pot. I found this one at Home Depot for 10 bucks and I love it. Especially since it's purple and if  you're going to put a cactus named Lou Ferrigno into a pot, it needs to be purple. (Because the Hulk has purple pants, get it? See what I did there?)  Granted it should probably be manlier, but whatever, it's awesome. 

Then I pulled the cactus out of it's old pot. Bye nasty old pot!!

For those of you concerned for my safety in regards to handling a pointy plant, worry not, I used protective equipment. 

Then i got my soil. Also found at Home Depot. Reportedly it is full of fabulous nutrients for Cacti of all kinds.

Mmmmmmm plant nutrients.

Then I popped the cactus in the pot and packed some soil around it. It was at this point that I realized that being barefoot outside was not really a good idea as I was being eaten alive by ants, so I ran inside.

Then I watered it.

Then I took pictures of it.

TA DA!!!!! The finished product. Just like pretty much everything else in my life, it's a little wonky but awesome and I love it.

And that, friends, is the true story of how my cactus came to find itself in a much more healthy-growth-accommodating living space.  Probably right about now you are wishing you had the last five minutes of your life back but personally I'm thinking that maybe I'll develop a green thumb after all :)

IS THIS REAL LIFE????

Okay you guys, this has probably been the craziest three months of my life and I'm not even exaggerating. Here's how it went down:

1. In the second week of may I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in Nursing! I have wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember, and when I was in junior high (around age 13) I developed a full academic plan so I could be a nurse, and then I stuck to it and guess what? I'M A NURSE!

2. After I graduated and partied it up a little bit with friends and family I started studying for the biggest test of my whole life: the NCLEX (aka the nursing licensure exam). I took a week-long prep course and then studied for a month and ended up taking over 1,000 practice questions which pretty much drove me completely crazy. And then in June I took it and I kicked it's butt, and a few days later I had an actual bona-fide nursing license in my hands. That was probably one of the best feelings in the world knowing I had accomplished this goal that has been pretty much a lifetime in the making.

3. Once I had a license in hand it was time to get a job. After applying for about a bagillion jobs and being rejected for all of them, I went to a recruiting fair and ended up being interviewed for a Heart hospital. Let me just state here that working in a Cardiovascular ICU is pretty much my dream job so when I got the call a week later that I got a job in the Cardiovascular PCU (which is a step-down unit from the ICU so it will be the perfect starting point) I was over the moon. Especially since one of my best friends from nursing schools is orienting with me to work in the same system!! We were pretty excited on our first day :)

I feel so blessed and humbled by everything that has happened to bring me to where I am today. I am so excited for this opportunity to really learn how to be a nurse and take care of people in need. I feel like everything in my life has changed and more big changes are coming, and I can't wait!

Senioritis

So I'm going to graduate from college in 25 days!!!!! I'm not entirely sure where the last 4 years of my life went, but clearly they happened because my transcript tells me so. Some weeks when I have a paper to write or something I don't want to do I think school is taking forever, but then I look back and realize that the last few years went by so quickly and I don't feel that different from when I was a freshman just starting out. But on the other hand I feel like I'm a completely different person than I was back then. It's sort of a conundrum. But in any case, I have less than 4 weeks before there's going to be a BSN by my name and I won't have to do a homework assignment ever again unless I want to (aka unless I decide to go back to school...which is likely). Of course this doesn't really mean I'm free because I still have to spend every day from now until June studying for the NCLEX exam so I can get my license, and then I have to try to get a job, but it's nice to know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and one day soon I'm going to be an actual bona fide nurse, which is something I've known I was going to be since I was probably six years old. It's just crazy that it's actually happening, and thankfully so far I love it :) 

Day 6: Your views on mainstream music

Ummmmmm love it. Well sometimes. I like a lot of music regardless of it's "mainstream" status, but the fact is when a song is more mainstream you hear it on the radio more and then it gets stuck in your head forever and you learn all the words and then it's your new favorite song. Which I'm fine with, whatever.
But I also like not-mainstream stuff too, I don't even know what qualifies as mainstream, but I'm assuming it's stuff like T-swizzle and whatnot.
Anways, basically I like music. Right now my favorite things to listen to are Carrie Underwood and Death Cab for Cutie, so there you go.

Day 5: Things you want to say to an ex

Ummm I don't have an ex, so I don't really have anything to say to them, because they do not in fact exist. I suppose if I had an ex, it's likely that I wouldn't want to say anything to them at all :)
That is all.
But hey guess what?? I just finished my critical care rotation in nursing school!! Which means I just have one rotation left (aka 2 months) until I am done and I graduate!!!! :)

Day 4: Bullet your whole day

Well my days are all different but here's how my typical Tuesday goes:

• 5:00AM-Alarm goes off at which I whack it as hard as I can repeatedly until I hit the right button to turn it off.
• 5:15-Alarm goes off again, I repeat above step.
• 5:30-Alarm goes off again, I repeat above step but this time I roll out of bed and make a break for the shower as fast as I can because I'm late.
• 5:45-Eat breakfast whilst printing whatever notes or homework I need off the computer.
• 6:00-Make my awesome dad get up absurdly early to drop me off at the light rail.
• 6:20-Get on the light rail and spend 45 minutes people watching
• 7:30-Arrive at class and try to stay awake for four hours of lecture.
• 11:30-Eat lunch
• 12:00-Arrive at second class and try to stay awake for another 3 hours
• 3:00-Go home
• 4:00-Study, do homework
• 7:00 eat dinner, go do more homework
• 11:00-Collapse in exhaustion and get ready to do it again tomorrow.

And that, friends, is why I have no life, because the most exciting part of my day is the life-or-death battle I have with my alarm clock in the morning :) But at least this Tuesday I get to go to my best buddy Celery's BRIDAL SHOWER!! So that will be good. And then on Thursday and Friday I get to shake up my routine and go do 12 hour shifts at the hospital :)

Just for fun, these pins from Pinterest pretty much sum up my life:

See first 3 bullets above

I love scrubs. they are so comfy.

Sorry guys, I know I do this a lot.

hehe

:)

After I graduate I'm going to sleep for a week.

Every test EVER

But it's all good because you get to do awesome stuff like this:

Day 3: A book you love.

I love ALL THE BOOKS! Okay not all of them, but I really love to read. As evidenced by the fact that I have four bookshelves full of books in my room alone and then a kindle full of even more books. So it's a little hard to pick just one that I love, so I'll just go with the one I'm reading right now:

Northanger Abbey!

I watched the Masterpiece movie adaptation of Northanger Abbey a couple of years ago and totally loved it.

And not just because I was a little bit in love with Henry Tilney:

(Hottie!)

But also it's just a cute story and a great movie for when you're in the mood for Austen-y romancisms. So I saw the book in the kindle store and decided to give it a shot since I liked the other Austen books, and so far it's one of my favorites. It's been a long time since I had read something by Jane Austen and I had forgotten how snarky and sarcastic she is. She interjects a lot of notes to the reader in her chapters about character personalities and they crack me up every time. Her works are very insightful in regards to different facets of human nature, and it's funny how people haven't really changed much in the last 200 years or so. I almost always know someone who reminds me of all of the characters in her books, (except Henry Tilney, if I knew someone like him we'd be married by now :).

In any case, I highly recommend it if you're in the mood for a fun read with a cute love story 

and a few laughs. :)

Day 2: Something you feel strongly about

I feel strongly about education. I think that education is so so so important and everyone should have the opportunity to get one. I have been so blessed in my education to be able to go to college to learn how to be what I've wanted to be pretty much my whole life: a nurse! Now that I'm almost done with my Bachelor's degree it's pretty crazy to look back at how far I've come. I remember going kindergarten as a little kid and being so excited to go to school and eat snacks and sing songs and whatnot. And now 16 years later I get to go to school and learn things like what to do if someone starts bleeding all over you. Still exciting but very different :)
So even though I probably whine way too much about homework and teachers, I'm still really excited to be going to school and learning how to do my dream job. Like I said I've been very blessed the whole way through and I'm very grateful for the opportunity :) I think education opens a lot of doors for people and helps you grow a lot and it would be pretty great if the world decided to focus less on fighting over things and more on teaching people.

Day the first: 5 ways to win my heart

Not gonna lie it would probably take a lot of work to win my heart, and honestly I'm not entirely sure what it would take because no one's ever succeeded before, but here are five things that wouldn't hurt someone's chances:

1. Be nice to people. Not just to me, but people in general. This is such a simple thing but it can be hard! And I'm not talking just being polite to people, though that is important. But I mean true-blue-deep-down kind-hearted niceness. Like when you see someone stop on the side of the road to help a stranger change a flat tire, or give up their seat to an old lady on the bus, or let a mom with a bunch of crazy kids pass them in the grocery store line so she can get out of there more quickly. Even simple things like holding doors for people or smiling at strangers. Chivalry doesn't have to be dead!! People should definitely not underestimate the attractiveness of being nice.

2. Be a nerd. I am such a nerd all the time. I love science and math and nerdly activities like watching Doctor Who and Star Wars and Star Trek and Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings and probably a bazillion other things, and I read as many books as I possibly can without neglecting my schoolwork. Of course, in saying this I feel the need to point out that it's important to find a good balance of nerdism. I like to think that even though I probably spend too much time on nerdy things, I'm still going to be a somewhat productive member of society...but seriously if a guy wanted to show up at my house and just watch Star Wars all day, I would be down with that.

3. Be happy. I like to be happy and I like to hang out with happy people. So it stands to reason that if I was going to fall for someone, they would probably need to be a happy person. And a sense of humor definitely ties into this. I think that if anyone is going to spend any sort of time with me and not run screaming, they need to have a hearty sense of the ridiculous. Or else they would probably end up thinking that I'm a total nutcase... which may or may not be true, I'll leave that up to you guys :)

4. Work hard. This might sound hypocritical of me because as you know I can sometimes I can be a lazy bum, but I also work hard to accomplish my goals and finish what I start. It's definitely okay to make time for fun, but it's very important to me for someone to be willing to work hard for what they want in life, whether it's to build things or to teach or to become a rocket scientist or to have a farm. Work is important in any capacity.

5. Be good with kids. Lets get real, is there anything that melts your heart more than a guy making faces at a toddler to make them laugh? Didn't think so.

So there you have it, five surefire ways to melt my stone cold heart. :)

Blah.

So lately I've been thinking about how nursing school pretty much takes up all of my time and sucks up my life like a vampire that feeds on research papers and cardiovascular exams. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm okay with because it means that in three months I will GRADUATE and have a BACHELOR'S DEGREE and be a NURSE!! Which is the bomb. But I also think I need to start making time for some things that I like to do outside of school and maybe start having something resembling a life-type substance. And one of the things that I like to do is write, so I thought hey, why not write on my blog so I can torture everyone!?! So I decided to do another 30 day blog challenge, because hey, why not? So here is the first one I found on Google:

:)

Update

Hello all, guess what? In three weeks I will be done with my first semester of my SENIOR YEAR! Which means ONE MORE SEMESTER TILL GRADUATION! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you didn't notice, I might be a little excited... :)

In other news, I joined a gym!!!! For the first time ever!! For more details, see: http://runbonsterrun.blogspot.com/ in which I discuss exercise and whatnots.

In other other news, life is pretty good right now, school is crazy as always and pretty much takes up my whole life, but now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel it's not so bad.

And that's about it. So here is a picture of my adorable dog, Freddie.

:)

SUMMMMMMMMER!!!!!!!!

Hey guess what?? My classes finally ended for the semester, which means today was officially my first day of summer!! So crazy. It also means that I am now a SENIOR!!!! Which is weird for me because it feels like I was just a senior in high school, and now I'm a senior in college, what? So crazy. Anywho, basically I'm just super happy right now because I passed my finals and I have a whole 4 months off! Hopefully someone will hire me so I can spend the summer earning some money, but other than that I'm going to spend the summer catching up on all the random things I don't have time to do during school like reading books for fun and catching up on TV shows and running and swimming and actually seeing my friends once in a while :)
So excited!

Psych

As of last week I am all finished with my adult health classes (and I passed my finals, woo!), which means I get to move on to Psychiatric/mental health classes. I'm still not sure how I feel about this, I don't really feel like psych is going to be my thing but you never know till you try it right? And even if I don't like it it's okay because I just need to get through it and then I'll get to go to pediatrics (working with kids) and OB (pregos and babies!) next year :). Also I'm pretty thrilled that after this rotation I will only have a YEAR of college left. Where did the time go?????? I really can't believe I'm almost done with my Junior year in college, it's freaking me out. But really it's not that big of a deal because I might just jump back in and get my Master's shortly after I get my license, but I still haven't decided on that one yet, we'll see. But either way at least I'll have some sort of degree and I can finally get a job as an RN, which will be exciting :)

While we're talking about psych, let's talk about how Psych is coming back tonight!! The show's been on hiatus for a while and the new episode is airing tonight and I'm going over to my buddy's house to watch it and I'm pretty excited. It's probably the best way to kick off a psych rotation ever :)

Man I've missed these guys!

Runnnnnnnnnnn

Okay, so (CHEESE), I decided I'm going to run 6 miles some day, so I gotta start now so maybe i'll be there in about 6 months. So my friends from nursing school said I should blog about it so everyone would know I'm going to run, and then I'd have to do it. So I started a blog about running. So now I have to put it up here so everyone will know and so I won't chicken out. So here's the link: http://runbonsterrun.blogspot.com/2012/02/so-this-one-time.html but feel free to not read it because it will be horribly boring :)

That is all, happy Thursday!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hey guess what I start clinical work in a hospital TOMORROW!!! And am I ready? No way! But I guess there's no better way to get ready than to dive right in eh? Still, I'm a little bit freaked out. I suddenly can't remember anything I learned last semester :S My only consolation is that I will have my group buddies with me. And also that I will look legit in my scrubs :). Anywho, I'm so excited to finally learn to work with real people and not just the plastic manikins we've been using in lab. I guess this is when I'll figure out if this whole nursing thing is for me or not :).

Anyways, that's all, I gotta go to sleep now so I can get up crazy early tomorrow morning.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic start to the new year!

The Semester is OVER!...For REAL!

So I just finished my last final, which means I'm officially done with my first semester of nursing school, which is very exciting. Here are some things I've learned this semester:

1. D7 is the coolest. Ever. You know who you are.

2. Disneyland is awesome, but it might be a bad idea to go before your final :) Totally worth it though.

3. It's a good idea to read the book, but apparently it doesn't help improve your test scores.

4. It's okay to get a B. Sorta.... :)

5. Sometimes waking up at 5 in the morning requires a minimum of 3 separate alarms.

6. Pharmacology fascinates me, but I'm sooooooo glad that class is over.

7. I can do clinicals. I didn't think I could, but so far so good :)

8. Nursing lab is super awesome, and you should be jealous of all the cool stuff we learn.

9. I know how to give shots. It's cool. Be jealous.

10. Peppermint Hot Chocolate is sooooooooooooo good, especially at Disneyland.

11. Dr. Who is AWESOME.

12. Pocahontas should have picked Kocoum. He's way hotter than John Smith and that other dude from the second movie combined. You know, as far as cartoon characters go...

13. The Help is awesome. Both as a book and as a movie. Soooooo good. Go read it right now. For serious.

14. Boiled eggs are a great snack and are available at the cafe at my school for around 50cents. It's pretty great.

15. My brain is officially fried from school, so I can't think of anything else.

So yeah most of that had nothing to do with school, but it's all important stuff. Sorta. :)

Have a lovely Christmas break!

The Semester is OVER!...Almost.

So besides one more final a week from now, I'm done with my first semester of nursing school. It's very exciting stuff. To celebrate being almost finished, three of my fellow nursing students and I went to Disneyland. It was awesome. (See above photo, this was in front of Small World. For more photos, see facebook). We went up Friday after our nursing concepts final, went to the park on Saturday, ran around the park getting into all sorts of shenanigans for 17 hours, then came back Sunday afternoon. It was pretty much epic sauce. Even though we only had one day at the park, one of our buddies knows everything about Disneyland, so she planned it out so we could hit all the best rides and shows, so we got everything important in, sometimes twice :) And it was especially cool because everything was all decked out for the holidays.

The only problem is that after spending a weekend in the most magical place on earth, it's a little hard to come back to reality and make myself study for my last final :P But luckily I only have to make my brain work for one more week, and then I will have three weeks to be lazy and make it nice and empty again before the next semester starts up!